Friday, December 29, 2006

Another published article

I finally got to finishing my next article for Sportingo and you click here for the link.

Hope you enjoyed this one.

Before the year ends I shall review the year and talk about the lows and highs on a few things.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Ponderings

I have always wondered about Adam and Eve.

As I am not Christian I am not very informed about what happens after these two came to the world. I know there was something about them having two sons and one killing the other. That is about it.

After that, I gather that they went forth and multiplied and we are now a planet containing 6 billion people.

Now I can explain why we have people of different colours, physical characteristics and languages because people spread forth over the world and over hundreds of years, they physical features adapted to the surrounding area they lived in and their languages evolved.

But the part between Adam and Eve to people spreading around the world is what I have always questioned.

If they were the first two people on Earth and had two sons, how did they procreate? Where did the women come from? IF Eve also had daughters, then her sons and daughters would have to get together to populate the world. Right??? After all they would be the only people in the world.

Maybe I would have the knowledge if I paid attention during conversion, I mean, Religion classes during my primary school days. But unfortunately I do not so if anyone can clear this up for me I would be most appreciative.


* * * * * * *

Hope everyone's Xmas was fun or fun filled. Melbourne certainly experienced a somewhat strange Xmas day. It actually snowed here!

You may say that Xmas equates to snow but listen up, it is summer here downunder (or that is what the rumours are). So some parts of Melbourne had a white Xmas. Unfortunately we were not so lucky, we were pelted with hail and rain.

Was pretty miserable but it was also cold, like a winters day!

We live in crazy times!

Yesterday was boxing day and that means Cricket tests and sales, the latter of which we partook in. We started out at 7am standing outside a major department store and once the doors opened we began an 8 hour shopping odyssey. I am glad to report we made it through although I was exhausted. but i out bought Metria!

YAY

Monday, December 25, 2006

The 100th Blog

Christmas this year has coincided with me contemplating what to write for my 100th blog entry. It is quite a milestone when you make 100 runs in a cricket match, when scoring goals in sports and when reaching that age. So I guess writing the 100th blog has to mean something.

However, first things first:

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and any other holidays that coincide with the 25th December.

As for my 100th entry, I thought I would 10 top ten's. Some are fancy, some are boring but generally these are things I want to share. I have decided not to provide an explanation for all things as I may want to revisit them at a later date and expand some more. Also note that some of these top 10's are not in order or reverse order or something or another. I just see what happens as I type.

So here goes with my 10 top 10's (because it adds up to 100 - get it!!)


Top 10 in paperback

10. Emperor series - historical fiction about Julius Caesar
9. Asterix
8. Robbie Fowler's autobiography
7. The Chronicles of Narnia
6. Any book written about Michael Jordan
5. X-men titles (yeah this old and still reading comics)
4. Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby
3. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
2. Harry Potter - can't wait for number 7!
1. Long Walk to Freedom - The Nelson Mandela Autobiography

Top 10 TV shows:

10. Heroes - its new and I like where it is going!
9. Red Dwarf
8. The Simpsons
7. Blackadder
6. Angel
5. Battlestar Galactica (the new version)
4. Veronica Mars
3. Smallville
2. Star Trek - all series
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

10 things I want to do or happen before I die (not in any order)

1. Sky diving
2. Score a goal in a football match with my friends and wife watching
3. See Liverpool play live at Anfield
4. Get up and sing live at my cousins pub in Malaysia (Bojangles)
5. Have another run with the AWESOMES
6. The world to stop paying attention to Paris Hilton and people of her ilk.
7. Watch a world cup in person with Australia playing in it.
8. A cure for cancer because one Uncle and one friend passed away from it and one Aunt managed to beat it - that is 3 people too many to know who have had cancer.
9. Liverpool win the English Premier League
10. People just getting on with people no matter what and people not being nice to people they know because they want something but because it is the right thing to do (hope that last one makes sense)


Top 10 movies

10. Snatch
9. Matrix trilogy
8. X-men Trilogy
7. Quarbani - my favourite hindi movie of all time which I saw when I was 8 or 9
6. Gandhi
5. The lord of the Rings Trilogy
4. Star Trek 2 - The Wrath of Khan
3. Star Wars Episodes 1 to 6
2. Mississippi Burning
1. Do the right thing

Top 10 musical artists who I would listen to

10. Nirvana
9. Public Enemy
8. John Legend
7. The Jackson 5
6. Arrested Development
5. Smashing Pumpkins
4. Stevie Wonder
3. Prince
2. U2
1. Michael Jackson

I was contemplating a top 10 of songs and albums but that was too difficult given the variety and numbers out there - this is better saved for another time. Instead I embarked on making a list of musical artists who I enjoy listening to. Some are dead and some do not perform anymore but their music is all that matters.

Top 10 people who I am most grateful for having in my life

1. My wife
2. Mum, Dad,my sister and brother.
3-10 (not in any order).
  • DM, Parv and Tharan (also known as the Awesomes;
  • Clarence J - for helping me settle into Melbourne and for being a top fella to know;
  • The Tatla's of Taylors Lakes - for they really helped me feel like a part of their family when I moved to Melbourne and will forever be grateful to them even thugh the last couple of years they have not seen to much of me;
  • Lena John;
  • Sunil and Sushil - for all the good memories and times we have had;
  • Jes, Sandog and Raj - good times and good friends here in Melbourne;
  • Harry and Jen Chemay; and
  • My football team.

10 things that annoy me

10. Overzealous people who try to force their beliefs on you.
9. People who have no belief system
8. People who take themselves and life way to seriously
7. People who complain and bitch about something but never do anything about it.
6. Football players who do not respect the umpires decision and carry on like twits, especially after I tell them not to talk back to the referee
5. Cruelty to animals - the thought of anyone hurting my Jordan makes me angry!
4. George W Bush
3. Ironic by Alannis Morisette - it so missed the point about what irony is about
2. John Howard
1. People who will not open their mind and will not change for the betterment of society

10 places I love to be at or be doing if I was not at work (all these events involve my wife of course)

10. On the pitch coaching (some would say screaming at) the football team
9. Cottesloe Beach
8. Margaret River
7. Adelaide with the big fella!
6. Yum Cha at Dragonboat Restaurant
5. At the movies watching the latest releases
4. Down the Mornington Penninsula
3. KL - for the shopping and being around my family there.
2. Perth
1. At my parents house in Perth


10 reasons why I heart Liverpool Football Club

10. Being the most decorated club in England
9. What LFC is all about
8. Following them for over 20 years
7. The Rafalution and the possibilities it offers
6. The rivalry with Manchester United
5. The mystic and power of Anfield - as witnessed when we played Chelsea in the 2005 Champions League final
4. The KOP
3. "You'll never walk alone"
2. Robbie Fowler
1. Steven Gerrard


10 things to do in 2007

10. Work more and stop surfing the net/chatting on msn/emailing people
9. Finish redecorating the house
8. Travel somewhere apart from Perth or Malaysia
7. Spell better on my blog
6. Watch less TV
5. Catch up with my cousin Steven and try not to torment him about the Ashes or about the English football team.
4. Stop procrastinating so much
3. Write more and get more articles published with Sportingo
2. Get fit and lose weight
1. Become a father (no one is pregnant yet)


So that is my 100th blog. Hope you enjoyed it. Also let me take this opportunity to wish you a Happy New 2007!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Woopidy Diddly Doo - The Ashes have returned

Yep, sometime yesterday afternoon (Melbourne time) Australia won back the Ashes after beating England in the third test in my old home town of Perth.

The good thing about the victory is that I can give my cousin and uncle in England a hard time and meke comments like:

"Can I tell you a joke???"....."The English cricket team!"

"Mate, the cricket team makes your football team look like superstars"

and jokes like:

"What do you call an Englishmen with a hundred runs next to his name?"...."A bowler"

Good times!!

Now that is done I read the local Australian papers about how great this Australian team is etc etc. How England stuffed up and how we deserve it.

Goodc god, the papers sometimes are so full of it. Take the victory with some sense of sportsmanship and grace. Please.

they are mentioning how good Shame Warne and what a sportsmen he is. PULEEAZZE, he is such an arrogant twat. Watching his appealing was just plain embarrassing and h showed what a spoilt brat he is.

why he is not reported and fined by the authorities shows how gutless they are sometimes. He is such a baby if he does not get his way and i can not stand that arrogance. I rather be tied to a chair and watch 3 hindi love movies in a row that watch his crap.

oh well...at elast Monty got selected and took a bag of wickets (just shows one major flaw the selectors got wrong there). Good to see a brother do his magic!

* * * * * * *


Liverpool 3 and the Djimi Traore recital 0

We probably should have scored more goals but looks like the team is on goal scoring fire!! Good to see and we even moved into third spot. Liking this outfit now but alas....too late now innit!!

BARGGER!!

Still at least we are winning and the aim is to maximise points over the xmas/new years break where there is an orgasm of football. so many matches over so many days. Lets hope ManUre and Cheqski get a few losses along with the Arses, Bolted and Boredsmouth.

But good to see Djimi Traore repay us for giving him a Champions League and FA cup trophy by kung fu kicking Jermaine Pennant head and thereby, giving away a penalty. Good work, no wonder we sold you!

That is my xmas wish!

Also how di MU get the easiest team in the chamops league draw and we draw Barcelona? How?? The draw was made by MU right?

PS. This is my 99th entry. Guess the next one better be a good one!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Friends

A old friend of mine from university was in town the past week and the weekend was spent entertaining him and reminiscing about the old days.

I have to really thank Metria for letting me hang out with my friend and not do a lot of things that I should have done. Guess that is my Xmas present - not that we really celebrate.

Amongst the activities we partook in was a BBQ in my back yard where he enjoyed some lamb chops i concocted and some veru spicy sausages I bought, watching the cricket, drinking, watching football, drinking and talking about the old days.

He happens to be an Arsenal loony, i mean fan so there is a bit of verbal sparring going on between us about who is the better team. I believe I should win that argument as we won a trophy last year!

There was also some frequent gossiping and yes, us guys do gossip here and there. In our case we discussed some old "friends" outlining their obscure good points while analysing (bitching) their flaws and negatives. There were a lot of laughs in the latter.

The interesting thing to note is how we have changed over the last 9 years. We are both married and well into our careers. We have a lot more responsibility on our lives now but somehow, when we are together things seems to regress to being 20 something fools again.

Above all that, the bonds of friendship will forever remain and it is good to catch up. This kind of friendship shall remain long lasting between us as we just have that kind of relationship I guess.

Good times

An enjoyable weekend for me but I feel guilty about the lack of time I spent with the missus. Still the long weekend will allow me the opportunity to make it up to her. :-)

Friday, December 15, 2006

One person's freedom fighter is another person's terrorist

The Australian media has been taking up the case of freeing David Hicks from Guantanamo bay where he is being held as a prisoner of war by the USA of A. Particularly they have made an issue that his human rights have been violated and he should be treated like an Australian.

Mr Hicks is in this predicament after being caught with fighting for the Taliban army which was engaging American forces shortly after the 9/11 attack.

I have to clarify that he was fighting for the Taliban army NOT against them.

The media says that he should be brought back here to face an Australian court. While these sentiments are noble, they have the wrong person.

While I am not a fan of the US/Australian/British war of terror on Iraq, David Hicks does not deserve to be brought back. That is my opinion on this matter.

After all, he went to fight with the bad guys. He is the mercenary who decided to ply his trade for the Taliban and he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Remember he was out there looking to kill and hurt people. His bad call so he has to live with the decision and not hope for someone to fly in and save him. He lost his right to be an Australian when he decided to fight against his fellow countrymen.

However, one thing I do wholeheartedly oppose is the abuse and inhumane treatment of prisoners. Sure they have done the wrong thing but to treat them worse than animals is uncalled for and indecent.

I think the media’s intentions are in the right place but they have focused on the wrong person. There are other people in the world which deserved to be freed from incarceration and the focus should be put on them. People like the Dalai Lama, children who are used as slaves to facilitate the mega corporations, and women abused by scared, small minded and insecure men deserve this type of focus and attention.

Many years ago, the worldwide media focussed their attention towards Robben Island which held a great man unjustly. After years of ignoring his plight, the international family (finally) focussed its attention towards this backward hole and this occupant. Eventually this worldwide pressure forced the South African government to free this man.

Eventually, it was acknowledged that he was being unjustly imprisoned for being an alleged terrorist when all that he wanted (or was fighting for) was for all South Africans to be afforded the same opportunities, the rights to the basic nees, education and the right to vote . This person was Nelson Mandela, a hero of mine who greatly helped the process of righting the wrongs of South Africa.

But sadly, with David Hicks this story has been picked up for the wrong reasons by the media and politicians, once again they are making a big deal of the wrong thing.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Friday, December 01, 2006

Thank god it is FRIDAY

Upon reflection I must say that this year is moving faster than a contestant on "The Biggest Loser" to a Krispy Kreme store. I can not believe it is already 1 December 2006!

With this date, comes an exciting time. The introduction of the SCI FI channel on the local cable network. WOO HOO for me, Boo Hoo for Metria.

This means I can get my overfill of Star Trek, Stargate, X-Files, Battlestar Galactica, basically anything with a "star" in the title can be viewed. Along with the explosion of sport that will be available I will be really making my mark to enter the couch potato hall of fame!

Of course, I wait until this paragraph to bitch about the pathetic display by the Pool last day. A 0-0 draw against a depleted Portsmouth at Anfield. What makes this worse is that a win would have pushed us up to 3/4 with the other results. DAMM!!! But I shall bit about it later.

Today is Friday and as Austin would say "YEAH BABY"!

The weekend is upon us and all that. 2 days no work except for the work at home!

Have a good one peeps

Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Impotence of being Liverpool

OK, I have to ask a question that is on the minds of many Liverpudlian's and their supporters.

What is the problem with the Reds?

What has happened when they leave Anfield? What' the deal? To quote Marvin Gaye: "What's goin' on?"

It like Spears and Federline, for what has happened to Liverpool between last season and this season.

7 away matches for 2 draws, 5 losses and 1 goal.

That goal came from a lucky (others would say dubious) penalty to the new kids of the block - Sheffield Whonited which resulted in us snatching a draw. The other draw came last night against a Middlesboro team that we outplayed. 16-1 shots at goal, 10-2 corners, 60% possession.

Liverpool we supposed to come to this season and challenge Chelsea for the title ahead of MU and Arsenal. They would defend wholeheartedly and keep the ball limiting opportunities for their opponents to score goals. They were going to play hard and play tough.

A lot of people picked them to challenge for #1 and finish in the top 3 easily. A lot of people.

So what has happened?

Some have said that the away record is a result of having to play some of the biggest teams in the EPL. Against Chelsea we played well and thanks to a superb bit of skill from Didier Drogba they got the 3 points. We were unlucky we kept on hitting the woodwork.

Suffice to say when playing at Old Trafford, Emirates and the Toffees we were outplayed and outclassed. There was the game at the Reebok where a bunch of old guys scored against us one dubiously and the other shamed last years defensive warriors. They are 3 tough venues to go and play against (not so Everton but we should have played better).

Yet when Liverpool play at home they are a different team. 6 matches for 5 wins and a draw. Most wins came from some superb play where the goals came.

This is Jekyll and Hyde-esque.

Is this an aberration or an indication for the season? Is this a serious situation that needs to be addressed.

So what is wrong?

  • Steven Gerrard is definitely not 100%. Mentally and physically. If you look at what he has done the last 2 years you can see there are signs of mental exhaustion. The previous season he started in august and finished with lifting the Champs League trophy in May. However due to the poor local form Liverpool had to start in July 2005 and he played in the world cup finishing in July 2006. one month later he was back at training. So in the space of 2 years he has had about 6 weeks off.

  • A few of his team mates are also in the same situation. So physically they are exhausted.

  • There are a number of new players so time is needed for players to establish their roles. Usually a team with a number of players at each position results in competitiveness for spots, like Chelsea. Yet this does not seem to be transposed on to the pitch. Are the players trying too hard at training to get a game yet when it comes to the match, hey are too tired of god forbid, to lazy to play as hard!

  • Rotation works but it does not help with the chemistry in some instances. As a football manager I am loathe to change the defensive structure and players a lot because a goalkeeper develops an understanding with his back men and chopping and changing can have bad effects.

  • Collectively, they are playing without pride and therein, I believe likes the issue. NO PRIDE in the jersey!
See they have allowed a lot of goals this season. A lot more than this time last year. At least this time last year we were either drawing with nil all scores or losing against good teams by a goal. No pride!

Could it be that things are bigger than that. When breaking things down further, it is not really pride. Maybe its fate. I look at teams in other sports where this has happened like Sydney FC in the A-League here are struggling now after being last seasons champs and may miss the final series this year. The Chicago White Sox who won the world series in 2005 yet failed to qualify for the playoffs in 2006. The Miami Heat, won the NBA title last year and are now winning as much as they are losing, their latest defeat coming at the hands on the inept and overpaid New York Knicks.

Is this a case of teams being supreme one season only to fall into a level of mediocrity the following season? Are the players getting ahead of themselves, feeling that the effort they put in last season will cut it this year?

See Liverpool are now in need to be panicked over, they were a team touted to finally make the challenge to finally win the EPL title, what all Red supporters want, the holy grail! Some people are not panicking like Rafa and, in Rafa I trust, but I am worried now. It does not look too promising.

So the question is what can save Liverpool? I trust Rafa as he has delivered and will give him time but he can only do so much. A manager can give his team the tools to succeed but the players have to execute the plan and that is what is missing. The guys just do not seem to execute well.

So who will save them? I think it has to be Jamie Carragher. He knows of Liverpool and their history and he knows how much it means to put on that red jersey and play in front of the Kop, as much as Stevvie or Robbie.

I do not mean give him the ball and all that, I am talking about his soul. He has to become the soul of Liverpool FC.

Stevvie G is the leader, best player and heart of the team. Lord knows he has proven it a lot in the past. But he is going though a slump and time will bring him back.

But right now the team needs someone to inject the passion and desire when playing for Liverpool. That man is Carra. He can give his team mates a sense of what it means to be in Liverpool and keep them in check. Stevvie did a lot and drove them to work well. But now to take the net step they need the soul!

They need someone who will make sure the team this good, this talented will not go on losing and not scoring away from home. A person who will pull the lever when the noose has been placed over the opposition neck.

Someone has to give the players faith in themselves, someone on the pitch not on the sidelines because a manager can only get you so far.

Some have said to give them time and that Liverpool are out of whack. But there is a difference being out of whack and being straight whack.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Not another crappy monday

3 - 0…..that signifies a lot. It says how many games we have played against the big guns (3), how many times we have lost (3), how many goals we scored (0) and how many points we have gotten(do the math!)

Suffice to say I am not a happy chappy this morning. Luckily I was tired enough to not get up at 3am to watch the game. I got up at 4.30. Saw that in the 67th minute we were down 2-0 and went back to bed.

Getting up this morning was a struggle. I tried to get up but did not want to. I knew we had lost and did not want to see the final score. I had taped the game and the self sadistic-footballist part of me will watch it later.

Just to see how bad we played.

So while we played well against Chelsea we lost because of a fantastic goal – I can take that.

But against Manure and A$$-An@l we played terrible, I mean we made defenders look like woprld class strikers (it is worse when one of them is so dumb he forgets to take a p!ss and pass to a gent in a white coat from the FA)

Now we shall await the stuff about how Rafa got it wrong by playing Zenden in the middle instead of Stevvie (I have to also question this), the players not being up to it, Stevvie wanting to leave etc etc. Someone in fleet street will come up with some rubbish, just like the talk of Rafa wanting to leave.

My team could have put more effort in a match and we played yesterday (a highlight o the weekend for me!).

Disappointed….yet we have Rafa a good man to bring us out.

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Best Modern-Day Hard Man Is...

I received this article froma friend and found it an interesting read. So I tought I would share it with you all.

Tis Friday and I await beer o'clock so I can get outta here. Big weekend as my Bro and his ladyfriend are visiting us next week so lots of cleaning up and all that, plus I have a football match on sunday to take part in.


Excuse the homo-erotic subtext to this question but, where have all the hard men gone?

It's not long since almost every top club had at least one hard man; one man who could frighten the crap out of opposition players with a mixture of intimidation, aggression and the occasional outburst of undiluted violence all mixed up with rugged tackling and crunching headers.

Football, like the English language is constantly evolving, and in recent years seems to have evolved to exclude the hard man from the game. Here's my question; is it a good thing? Am I the only one to miss him?

The best hard men were not simply psychotic nutters who went around stamping on people, mthough they were that as well, no, the most effective hard men were physically strong, excellent ball winners, and good passers. Their job was to break up play, and protect the flair players from being kicked to death by the opposing centre-half.

In the olden days the best example of a hard man was Ron Harris. If you never saw him, Chopper was extraordinary. He'd shock any young fan of today's game. His job was simply to hurt the opposition's best players - anything football-related after that was a bonus, but not strictly necessary. Early on in the 1970 Cup Final, he stamped on Eddie Gray's calf to reduce Gray's effectiveness. It worked. Job done.

But I was never a fan of the Chopper-style hard man. Too often he ruined the game by maiming the players you most wanted to actually watch.

However, the 70s were full of hard men like Larry Lloyd, Tommy Smith and Norman Hunter, who, along with being ruthless tacklers, were also good distributors of the ball. They didn't usually just deploy violence for its own sake, it usually had purpose and application. The principle of instant karma was always a popular one in 70s football; you hurt my tricky winger, you get a kick in the nads.

These were more visceral days - any player who was weak minded or physically lightweight was shown no mercy. It's surprising no-one died.

Which brings me to Souey. Graeme Souness was probably the most skilful hard man ever to walk a football pitch. He was an extraordinary, attacking midfielder, the like of which we will never be allowed to see again.

At times he mowed into players with a ruthless malevolence which was both utterly exhilarating and totally sickening in its sheer, raw violence. I once saw him in 1974, during his reign of terror at the Boro, taking revenge on a hapless defender for some perceived injustice.

As the player booted the ball away, Souey ran full speed into him, his boot up at thigh height. He stamped right down the bloke's thigh, down past the knee, down the shin and stamped on his foot in one, king-fu inspired movement. Naturally, his victim fell to the ground in pain, but rather than leave the scene of the crime quickly, Souey leaned over him and screamed abuse in his face. Even by the standards of the day, this was extreme behaviour.

I have to say, the fans loved it. It might be morally wrong, and these days it'd bring the full weight of the law on and off the pitch into play. He'd be hauled up in front of the world's media and castigated for his irresponsible behaviour. But these are different days. At the time, we loved it; all of us. Were we all thugs back then? Sometimes I do wonder.

In the 80s Souness continued his assault and battery style of playing at Liverpool and later, Rangers, while Vinnie Jones began his reign of bollock-grabbing insanity. The true inheritor of Chopper Harris' slash and burn approach, his Wimbledon days will never be forgotten as a period of unremitting, ugly, but rather successful, thuggery.

But as hard as Jones undoubtedly was, easily the hardest player in the 80s was South Yorkshire's finest, Billy Whitehurst. Alleged to have beaten the s**t out of Jones while they were both at Sheffield United, Billy is also supposed to have earned money while at Oxford doing bare-knuckle fights with local gypsies! Now that is f**king hard. You'd not catch John Terry doing that now would you, more's the pity.

By the time Billy quit in 1993, the hard man was already in decline but 'Razor' Ruddock was still elbowing people senseless, and Stuart Pearce was still out there, playing with a broken leg and doing full-body tackles on anyone who stood still for long enough. Who didn't love Psycho?

And then there was Roy Keane. In his pomp, Keane was one of the finest exponents of the hard man tradition. Sent off for vicious hacks and knee-breaking stamps, he brilliantly mixed his violence with high-voltage football skill of the highest order.

At his peak he was an irresistible force of nature. Mad, bad and dangerous to know, love or loath him, he was always compelling to watch, and he was crucial to Manchester United's dominance and success.

His confrontation with Paddy Vieira in the tunnel a couple of years ago was possibly the last old school hard man moment. It was, in all senses of the word, great. Am I wrong to feel that? Maybe. But I do feel it.

I know in these more gentle football days of high skill and fast pace, the hard man is seen as an anachronism, and anyone who admits to a joy in seeing a bit of ruthless on-pitch aggression is seen as a retard, especially by younger generations of fans who have grown up with a different tradition of football. Perhaps society and sport is keen to be more sophisticated in the 21st century. Maybe play-acting and feigning injury have replaced the hard man. Times change...maybe it's for the better, maybe it's not.

I don't see the Ben Thatcher-style forearm smash as part of the great hard man tradition. That smacked more of the over-reactions of a weak man. Anyone can just whack the living s**t out of someone, but the top notch hard- an knew how, when and why a player needed 'livening' up.

The hard man role - in the way we understood it in years gone by - has been made impossible by the outlawing of most forms of tackling, and the instant red cards given out by refs for players who sneeze too violently, let alone those who tackle someone around the neck with their muscular thighs.

In the Premiership, the art form barely exists at all, and where it does, it has had to change and adapt to the new football environment.

If I was to ask you for a list of hard men today you'd be hard pushed to make it a long list or draw it up very quickly. Take a player like Didier Drogba. I suspect he's as hard as nails, but because of all the play-acting and wussy behaviour, you can't call him a hard man. No hard man would ever pretend he was hurt when he wasn't, nor would he show it if he was - that would be to show weakness. The Drog fails on all those counts.

A player like Paul Dickov is a tough little b***ard and like a lot of very small men could start a fight in a monastery, but he's not a hard man in the Keane or Souness tradition.

Brian McBride, who shares his name with the boss of Amazon.co.uk - which incidentally is another place you can buy my book Footy Rocks - is a true hard b***ard centre-forward. When viciously elbowed by De Rossi in the USA v Italy game during the World Cup, he didn't flinch, even as the blood streamed down his face. He stood there, dazed but resolute. We need more men in the game who can take a whack and not weep about it. McBride looks like the sort of tough-assed Irishman that gave the NYPD such a fearsome reputation in the 30s. Thick-necked and made of granite, McBride is as hard they come, but he doesn't play the hard man on the pitch. He is just innately tough, he's not an inheritor of the hard man tradition.

Liverpool's John-Arne Riise took a good nutting last week and didn't go down, revealing unexpected hard man qualities in doing so. But he's not a player who uses that in his game as a rule.

So who does that leave? Richard Dunne and Andy Todd are tough sods, as is Scott Parker, but for me, the only true inheritor of the mad, hard b***ard role, the man who you'd least like to get the wrong side of, is Everton's Tim Cahill.

Cahill has an assassin's cold, dark, black eyes. His unusual Samoan/Irish parentage in itself sounds like a genetically tough-assed recipe.

He's nasty, aggressive and though a bit of a short arse, is as physically strong as anyone who plays the game. He's all muscle and he's got the look of a feral dingo. He walks the line in most games and uses his aggression to progress Everton's midfield attacking options incredibly successfully.

Like loads of Aussies, he's competitive to a point where it hurts, and he hates losing. In his first season at Everton he was top scorer and he's got five already this season - his good form is in no small measure responsible for Everton's success.

In an earlier era, Cahill would have played more like Souness, and would have been encouraged to do so by Moyes, who likes the physical game. But maybe because he can't play that way, we actually see the best of him, and because of that, football is the winner.

His game relies on controlled aggression, fierce determination, excellent timing and great positioning for all those late headers in the box he's made his trademark. If he was busy kicking lumps out of everyone, the more skilful side of his game might be lost, and that would be a shame.

The old school hard men days will never return, but while there are players like Cahill around, in some way, the tradition is continued. Fair f***ing dinkum mate.

So it was Timmy Cahill....interesting choice innit! Who would have thought! but I guess with the clamp down on hard tackles, we are missing those no nonsense, take no prisoners and personalities on the pitch. but that is a good thing. This lets the beautiful game flow. but to see Cristine Ronaldo get taken out or Cashley Cole or Fabregas.....ahhh if only i could play....

Hope the Pool get a positive result come Monday morning, lets see how Arsene Whinger reacts this weekend......

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Been a long time.....

Excuse me for being a lazy bum and not blogging for a whiles. I been slack and really have no excuses. Then again, I would have just mentioned football.

But the NBA season is about to begin and I should do something about it, who will win, why, who will be the best player, best coach, best hairstyle and best fight between players.

So like my household projects, I will likely get on to it later rather than sooner.

Still I have to mention that the Pool looks to have turned things a bit. A few wins here and there and soon we take on le Arse at their new stadium where they struggle to win. lets hope that trend continues, but considering the teams involved The gunners shall be firing and I expect them to win.

Yes there is the Carling cup match tomorrow morning but lets face it, the only people that tend to care about it are the teams in the lower leagues of Manchester United. To them it is a premier competition given that they have not anything in a while. But can you say SOUTHEND!!

HEHEHE oh well....bottom of the championship teams beats a team with 10 internationals including missus Ronaldo and messedupRooney.

Monday, October 23, 2006

I don't like this Monday

Like an impotenet pervert, Liverpool went to the old Trafford and in front on an EPL ground record of 75,000 plus we went down 2-0.

We were poor and deservedly lost. Our passing into the last third was shocking and worst still every time there was adeflection of mis header, the ball would end up at a united players feet. Shocking and amnot having a good morning now.

Soon the MU fans will start. Already Metria has been giving it to me but the worse shall come, I know that!

Gerrard looked unimspired, Alonso looked like he could not be creative, Momo worked his butt off but had to do to much. Kuyt worked hard but he needed support from another striker. Rafa got it wrong in the striking department last night, he should have attacked more by playing 2 strikers.

But it is all a moot point. All done and now the hopes of a title challenge are basically dead and buried!

Bargger this all!!

Friday, October 06, 2006

There be 6 random facts here

Well it looks like I have been tagged and the story for today is 6 random facts about myself: So here goes.

1. I once dressed up as Austion Powers and Dr Evil and walked around Perth in the middle of the night acting as the characters.

The story here my friend Mina was having a hens night, yes hens night! Her sister , Lena, was a very good friend of mine and said we should do something to make it different and a bit more memorable. At that point in life we were a bit into the whole secret spy thing and we even had our own make belief spy agency called the “Funky Bunch” - a blog for another day maybe. So we went the whole Austin Powers side of things.

Mina did not know what was happening but she knew about the hens night. She was told to meet at this pub with another friend – the decoy. It was then that I would walk in and “kidnap” her to take her to her hens night. So I walked in to a pub which had about 100 other people sitting there when I walked in as Dr Evil. I had grey suit and a fluffy toy dog (could not find a stuffed cat). I then went about informing her that I was about to kidnap her and at that point realised that the pub had gone eerily quiet and everyone was looking at me!

Of course my friend started to laugh and I managed to keep a straight face but man, was it hard, knowing I was the centre of attention! Then I took her to the room where the rest of the girls were and left. She thought that was it for me but not so!

A few hours later, they were at a bar at a karaoke restaurant in Northbridge when Austin Powers rocked up! Yeah BABY!! (this was me this time with a wig and all the frills, glasses and stuff). I managed to camp it up a bit and everyone had a good laugh singing and partaying to Austin powers. I even got groped by other women from other bridal parties!! Good times!!

2. The only malay words I remember are swear words.

Actually, the only words I know in other languages are swear words. I will not provide examples here.

3. I was so sick that I almost did not make my own wedding reception.

True story, I got sick a few days before I left KL for Perth and I was in terrible shape. I got back home and when reception night came I barely got my clothes on and to the reception. I only stayed 45 minutes. It was terrible. Have to make it up at my sisers or brothers reception!!

4. I profess undying love to…..

Liverpool Football Club. You know it readers so I won’t write any further.


5. I met my wife on the net.

Who says you do not meet any wierdos on the net. Happened to my wife. But the weirdest thing is after we got a little serious and informed our parents we found out that her mum and my dad used to live next door to each other in PJ. So the families are happy…us on the other hand :-P

6. When I was 16 I met this wonderful 2 year old who stole my heart called Sherryn.

However we did not hit things off well and I hurt her back then,

One day I was carrying her around (this was when she let me because she was a little brat then) and she wanted to walk on the car. So I put her there and something distracted me and I turned away and next thing she fell into the window and hurt her lip. Tears erupted and she started to bawl away.

I felt terrible and was scared of telling her mum what happened. I do not think there was any or a whole lot of blood but I still fell terrible to this day about it.

But Sherryn does not remember this event so that is good!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Another boring football blog......

Well the Eagles won a thrilling Grand Final by 1 point. Amazing match and my voice is still a little horse. Celebrations abounded and it was a magical day. Sadly the pool lost to Bolton and to top it off there were some poor decisions – a bad call that led to the first goal and a pretty blatant push by Campo on Kuyt which should have been a penalty and make things 1 all and then interesting.

But because the Eagles won the AFL premiership I kind of got over the loss by Liverpool.


Talking about football I was thinking about the national league here – the A-League. The competition is doing well and crowds in Melbourne are really booming. Last weekend Melbourne Victory attracted 25,000 plus to its match which was on at he same time as another Melbourne team was playing another grand final (that time of the year).

Clearly there is a boom and the A-League should look to expand and grow. Thoughts abound that more teams are needed in Australia in other centres and also more teams in places like Melbourne and Sydney. True but I think we should go outside the borders.

The league needs to head north and tap into the football mad markets in Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Thailand. All markets have a lot of followers and that adds to a huge audience both at matches and on TV. This leads to greater marketing opportunities and therefore more $$$.

While overseas recently I noted there was talk about Malaysia improving itself and qualify for the 2018 World cup. OK this is a huge dream and really unrealistic but if the A-League expanded and included a Malaysia team comprised mainly of the Malaysia national team members. This team benefits from playing against good competition more regularly which could lead to them raising the quality of the football in the region.

This same formula could be applied to Singapore, Thailand and Indonesia. If this experiment works then the A-League (which by now would mean ASIAN League) expands in years to include additional teams from the same countries.

In 10 years time we could have a 15-20 team competition which would rival some of the second tier leagues in Europe. The sport would grow in the region and it would boom times everywhere.

Frank Lowy and the FFA – I hope you are reading this.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

AFL Grand Final

Well I have recently got a promotion and now I have become a Senior Traffic Engineer. What this means is that I get paid a little more but have more responsibility and will be held accountable. I guess after 9 years in the engineering field this was bound to happen. What to do??

Guess this is a feather in the cap but now I should spend less time blogging, reading sports articles on the net and emailing friends and more time working!

Anyway, it is AFL grand final week. This year’s GF involves the 2 teams from last year – West Coast Eagles and Sydney Swans. Sadly the swannies won last year by a few points so I am hoping the result is reversed this year.

I will not get to involved in explaining Aussie Rules footy suffice to say it involves a mergement of rugby, football, grid iron with an oval shaped ball. I do not really get into the sport but coz my home town team is in I better represent.

Still I like the AFL GF as it is a big day with lots of hype and atmosphere. In a way it is a smaller scale of the Superbowl. Mainly coz we are not as big and demented as the US of bush.

My pick is for the Eagles to win, just barely and the match will be exciting! I hope I have enough energy to see the Pool match that night.

So that is that:

Talking about football – the ‘Pool did their best to drop points against Galatasaray but managed to hold on. Apparently Peter Crouch scored a super scissor kick which would be a sight to see. Good to see and I reckon my mate Rafa should consider playing him and Kuyt together.

Tomorrow if Friday…weekend nearly here..whew!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Sir Alex did not do his reading about READING

Ahh what a nice weekend sportswise.

Firstly, the 'Pool get a 3 nil win over the Spurned from Tottenham. I am not counting my chickens but a good win always brings a smile to my face. Still can not get over the fact that Jermaine Penas missed a sitter - 2m out with an open goal, he slides and the balls goes over the line. He must be a Liverpool striker underneath.

Gonzalez did well to grab the first, Kuitis-Scoreforus bagged a great goal and Risse sent a rocket to the Kop. All good!

Then we see Reading grab a point against MU and really, any time MU drop points I can not help but smile. HAPPY DAYS!

Sorry Keropok, I am really terrible to MU fans and only feel sorry for you. I have too many friends who swear allegiance to the residents of the Theatre of Creams and I hear it a lot. We won so many EPL premierships, we finished on top of you BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! Even the formifable and beautiful Metria is a ManUSA fan.

And lastly my mate Vic, talks a lot of crap about MU being this super team but he never makes sense and his arguments tend to me superflous.

So to Vic and others I say.....DOYLEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lasly, my AFL team the West Coast Eagles won through to the AFL Grand Final which will be played this Saturday here in Melbourne. We had to play away and were losing for most of the match but not the last quarter when it counts!

And that is the moral of the story childrens, it is not who leads at the start but how you finish and where. So we apply that to the EPL.

Anyway, the hype for the AFL final shall be building and I look forward to Saturday!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Muslims react angrily to being told they react angrily

The above title was installed in jest my friends. There is no need to be screaming "Jihad for Dev" or stuff of that sort. All in good fun!

Talking about fun, I was awoken via an SMS from a friend proclaiming the Dirk Kuyt (pronounced "Koit") had scored his first goal for the 'Pool. I got up and quickly turned on the TV.

We were lucky not to have a penalty given against us. The defense does not look as strong as they did last year but I am glad that Alonso is finally discovering his prowess and passing. But the team is starting to show some good form. Hopefully over the next few matches we start firing on all cylinders and get into contention for the Premiership!

I of course, can not go without mentioning Alonso's super goal from 65 yards out. Yeah the keeper tripped but that is why concentration is a huge element in games. He got caught out.

Nonetheless we kept a clean sheet and gained 3 points. More importantly we scored 2 goals and I was really fretting that we would have to call Alcoholics Anonymous to Anfield given the number of times the lads were hitting the bar.

Good start to the morning. Even with comments from Metria commenting "For football you can get up so early"



All hugs and smiles over at Anfield

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Cross Cultures in Australia

I want to talk politics today. Mainly Aussie politics.

See these days there is a debate brewing that immigrants should adopt Australian values and be able to speaka da English! I am in two minds about this, – for and against this notion basically.

On the FOR hand, what John Howard the Australian PM (let'’s just call him the Lil Toad or LT) is saying is that immigrants should wait 4 years before they can gain citizenship (right now it is 2 years), take a English speaking test and an Australian values test.

Looking at this, I tend to agree because I came here as an immigrants and as most people who have spoken to me could attest, – I can speak the English, I can also write, (although my typo'’s and grammar on this blog present another case) and I also have a sense of Aussie values after living for 25 years here.

Further to this, my parents and family all speak good English and understand other Aussies and what is all about. My brother "“Jeet-man"” is probably more Aussie than Punjabi/Malaysian and that is due to him being here for all is life apart from the first 2 years. But he has not forgotten his heritage, while his bhangra dancing is funny to watch and he can not speak Punjabi, he still retains core values that were taught to him by family and after my beatings!!

So in a way what is being said is generally fair. I believe that if you live in a country you should learn to adopt the language of the majority and accept the customs of that country. if I ever decided to live in Malaysia I would try to Malay malay so I could communicate with people and learn the customs, such as how to merge when driving.

Further, the 4 year waiting period for Australian citizenship is a good thing. For me it ensures that people appreciate citizenship a whole lot more. I get a notion that a lot of recent young citizens do not seem to value it a whole lot, or not as much I do. These are the ones who are willing to enjoy the lifestyle here yet denigrate Australia when things do not seem to go their way.

This happens everywhere, and people should count their blessing that they can walk down their street without worrying about being mugged, raped or having their purses snatched and dragged away.

On the other hand......

I consider the Lil Toad as a racist bigot and this line of thinking is a way of appeasing the majority rather than trying to enhance relations with minorities. In a way it is a return to days of the White Australia Policy (this was a policy that only allow migrations from a "“white country"” -mainly the UK).

I generally think that if someone wants to come here, they do so to live a better live and it is only fair that they learn what Australia is about. They should not seclude themselves and only integrate themselves with people from their homeland but get out there and learn about the people in this country.

Yes, this includes learning how to communicate in the main language. If I went back to live in Australia endeavorndeavour to learn how to speak Malay so I could intergrate myself into a country. I hate seeing people bow down to a person just because they are a foreigner and just because they are white.

Similarly, white Australian should also not be myopic and believe that because they comprise the majority here, that they have a god-given right to think they are superior. They should also make the effort to learn about other cultures. After all, every person living here, apart from the Aborigines, emigrated here be in last week, 30 years ago or due to their forefathers 200 years ago.

Australia has an opportunity to show the world how a secular society can form and function by being able to integrate all different types of cultures. This place could show the world how differences between cultures and religion could assimilate to form some harmonyharmoney. A place where each person can be respected for who they are and not what colour their skin who they pray to.

Everyone should be able to enjoy a Sunday afternoon BBQ or a beer (whether it be a Crown Lager or a Root Beer) with others. Sit back and relax while watching a game of AFL, Cricket or Football.

So while there are merits on some of the policies, the reasons for such changes are wrong. They are being touted to appease a Xenaphobic majority (who happen to be white). This is not the 1950's or the days where Pauline Hanson's comments was running riot through Asia where her policies were spoken as being the point of view of the average Aussie. She was ridiculed by people here as being an uneducated loser who did not speak for all Australians. Yet here we are, in the 21st century, and we are heading back to the white only days.

With that I think the policy is wrong as it is ethically incorrect. Do away with it and encourage recent immigrants to learn English and what it means to be an Australian. Both sides, the new and the old, reaching out to one another to help each other.

After all, that is what being a mate is about, and being a mate is what Australia is all about.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Not a happy Monday

Can you imagine what it would be like if you had not got jiggy wioth it for a long time and then you were stuck in a room with a sex starved/deprived Jessica Alba or John Abraham (depending on your sex and/or sexual preference) and not being able to get it up or motivated?

You would be frustrated and after they leave the room you would feel this sense of dissapointment and frustration on your part. You just let a great opportunity slip past and could not see when something like that could happen again for you.

That was what happened last night when the 'Pool lost to a 10 man Chelsea last night.

We played better and attacked more. We had the better chances but we either hit the post of kicked/headed the ball straight to the keeper!

BUGGER this!!!

The only consolation is that ManUre lost at home to the Arse! At least i do not have to put up with crap from my mate Vic - his team lost at home. We were away.

BUGGER this!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The return of the Manager

After a season away from the football managing scene, I decided I needed to come back. I miss Saturday's getting together with the lads and shouting at them from the sidelines.

The latest season of our league was completed last weekend and my 'old' team finished 6th. To be honest, it was a poor effort and probably the real reason I am returning. I was not too pleased with some of the acts that were occurring within the team.

I am not blaming the guys who took over as no one really put their hand up and it fell to a couple of the lads. These guys did a commendable job but I think their lack of experience, youth and lithe size all conspired against them. I have a theory that because I am a large fella the guys are scared of me as I give the impression that I could really hurt them - but not too many get the fact that they are faster than me!

Now the focus will start shifting to the next year and next season. I do want to restore some order and also instill a different type of playing style and system. The hope here is the guys start coming to training regularly and with this training we really improve as a team.

I look forward to it and have started working on my hand gestures from the sidelines ala Rafael Benitez! I can dream!!!

Impressing Chinese parents 101

I received the following note through email and thought I would share with you. An Interesting read. I should start working on an Indian version.....


You're in love. You love her. She loves you. You talk on the phone for hours at a time. You drive her everywhere. You find yourself spending fifty bucks on cuddly Korean stuffed toys that cost a buck twenty to make in Shenzen. In short, your world is complete. Now the only things standing in the way of your complete bliss are her parents. Want to learn how to overcome these obstacles? Welcome to impressing Chinese parents 101. Guys, take note. These are ancient secrets that up to now only a handful of noble families knew of. Father to son, to his son and so on. Only recently have these powerful techniques been catalogued and brought to the public's attention. Girls, take note too. If you love him, make him learn these rules. Harmony in the house, between your man and your mom and dad is paramount. And what's more they can be used when you meet his parents! Okay let's get down to the details.

Basically, we'll be covering what to wear, drive, say, bring, and talk about during dinner. We'll also cover what details to reveal about yourself, what your "supposed" ambitions are in life, what your family does for a living, and how much to eat during dinner. Finally, since there is no way to cover every conceivable situation which could arise, we will teach you the secret of secrets, to be used only in times of dire need. Please proceed.

What to Wear

Wear Polo or Tommy Hilfiger, as these labels will make you seem non-threatening. Chinese parents like non-threatening. They like to think that their daughter will be the boss of you and that you will be a hard worker and give her all the money you make. When she has all the money, she can lavish her parents with gifts and give them a nice life. Through you, their daughter will be able to repay her debt to her generous parents who sacrificed to give her a better life.

Under NO circumstances should you wear French Connection UK. Chinese parents know very little English, but they'll recognize the obvious mangling of one of the three words in their working vocabulary of English. The other two English words that Chinese parents also know are "yes" and "no", although "yes" is seldom used.

What to Drive

Borrow your parents' Accord. Your parents don't drive an Accord? Borrow their Camry. Your parents don't drive a Camry? Wait you're Chinese right? You're not Chinese and you're meeting your girlfriend's Chinese parents? Hmm, we have a problem here that we don't have room to cover in this article, so please proceed to purchasing the textbook, now in its 7th edition. Some other acceptable cars to show up at their house with are Corollas and Civics. Contrary to popular belief, Mercedes and BMWs are not good choices. Her parents won't like the idea that you are flashy. You could try to front and say that your parents are rich, but this can go both ways. If her parents smile, this means that they are gold-diggers. If they are gold-diggers, then your girlfriend is one too. If they don't smile, it means they have an inferiority complex and feel that their daughter should be matched up with someone of the same social class. Take my word, go Honda and Toyota.

What to Say

Several years ago, the beautiful and amazing Chinese vocalist Sandy Lam came out with a song called "Talk more, screw up more." It would be wise to listen to Sandy's advice. Say as little as possible. Let your girlfriend's dad brag about his prowess in the stock market. Let him bore you with his outlook on the Hong Kong - China or the China - Taiwan situation. Let him put metaphorical "money in your pocket" by sharing his experiences and the work attitudes that made him the man he is today. He will wave his hands about the room and tell you that if you work hard, one day all of this will also be yours.

If you must speak be modest and apologize for not knowing much. Chinese parents ask a lot of rhetorical questions. Feign ignorance. Let THEM answer the question for you and then say that's what YOUR parents tell you all the time. Your girlfriend's mom will beam from ear to ear, and chide you about new world folly versus old world wisdom. In truth, she is not admonishing you as much as she is strutting her tail feathers. Let her strut, by all
means let her fuss and strut.

The Meeting

It's either at a restaurant or at their house. If it's at a restaurant, pretend to fight half-heartedly for the bill but let the real man at the table pay for it. Pour tea constantly even if no tea has been drank from the cups. I once poured the tea so high that it was actually higher than the rim of the teacup. Thank goodness for grade 12 physics and that lecture about surface tension. If they actually let you pay (not a good sign), leave a 3% tip. Chinese parents love frugality. But you might also want to rethink ever going back to that restaurant for fear that you will be recognized.

Most likely the meeting will be at their house. This is their territory. In this territory, your girlfriend's dad is king. Your girlfriend's mom is queen. You would do well to remember that. First off, bring something. To show up empty handed or what the Chinese refer to as "two bunches of bananas" is disgraceful. Bring tea, bring dried mushrooms, bring dried scallop, bring ginseng, bring dried seafood, bring bird's nest, or even bring shark's fin if you can afford it. Do not bring a case of Molson Canadian. Do not bring tiramisu (Chinese parents won't eat what they cannot say). Do not bring bbq pork or other dishes (this is an insult as it suggests that your host didn't make enough food). Do not bring anything that's name sounds like "4" unless you are wishing death on the Mr. and Mrs.

When you meet them don't call them by their first names or address them by Mister and Mrs. and their last name. Go "uncle" or "aunty". By doing this you've made yourself a part of the family. Be of the belief that all men are brothers with different mothers. Also, never let your guard down, because while you are trying to earn their affection, you have to recognize that the parents are the enemy. There is nothing you can do that will ever make you good enough for their little girl, so know your enemy. Recognize that all girlfriends' parents are old, crabby uncles and aunts that smell of white flower oil or tiger balm. The dad uses too much Brylcreem in his hair, while the mother wears an updo. Of course she doesn't know that updos are actually back in style. For parents, time and coolness stops after 40, so don't even try to relate.

Dinner

Before the meeting, remember to not eat for two days. Then, when you go to your future in-laws house, go to town on her mom's lion's head meat balls or her mom's shrimp paste stuffed tofu or her mom's bitter melon beef. Sing the praises of the dishes as if it were dishes fit for Pu Yi himself. You do know who Pu Yi is right? Have at least four bowls of rice. Conventional wisdom dictates that making a pig of yourself is not wise. On the contrary, lavishing your future mother-in-law with praise is a shrewd investment that will reward you with ample dividends down the road.

Dinner Talk

If they're Christian, say how you've always wanted to be converted and ask for their guidance. Offer to go to a sermon with them that coming Sunday. If they're non-religious talk about saving money to buy a house (they love this). Tell them you've been condo shopping. Talk about a general mistrust of computers, but the necessity of computers in the modern world. Talk about famous singers like Teresa Teng. All Chinese people love Teresa Teng. If there's one thing that China Chinese and Taiwan Chinese people can agree on it is Teresa Teng. You're on your own if you talk about Four Big Sky Kings, Cookies or Twins. Talk about how Rap Talk is stupid. Remember to use the words "rap talk". They'll look at you blankly if you use terms like "hiphop" or "urban". Talk about how everything is so expensive. In short, be as fake as a ten-dollar Rolex.

Yourself

Don't talk about your grand schemes to save the world. Don't talk carpe diem, getting colonics, the protein diet, google, and other new age crap. Don't tell them about your plan for an Internet business. Don't tell them about how you plan to backpack across Europe after you graduate from university, that is if you decide to go at all. Tell them that ever since you were a kid you wanted to be a doctor. Tell them that your parents are strict. Tell them that their daughter is your first girlfriend. Tell them you're a straight A student (what are they going to do, phone the school?). (editor's note: I wouldn't place bets on that)

Your Family

This is a thorny issue, but if your parents are notorious triad gangsters, tell them that your parents own an importing and exporting company. If your parents are working stiffs, tell them that your parents are working stiffs who saved every cent so you can go to medical school. If you're out of school, tell them that your parents are retired, but got part-time jobs because they were bored sitting at home.

The Secret of all Secrets

Even if you do everything as we have instructed, situations may arise where all your hard work is for naught. In that event, use the secret of secrets to get yourself out of trouble every time. Lie. Simply calm your mind and pretend that they are your parents. It's so easy to lie to your own parents, isn't it? Your parents actually think your credit is fine. They don't know about how you are on Prozac. They don't know about how you smoke (thank goodness for breath mints). Once you realize that all parents are the same, you'll find that it's a cinch to lie to other people's parents as well.

The Conclusion

In parting, I expect some of you out there to doubt the effectiveness of these techniques. Why would anyone call someone who is not related to him "uncle" or "aunty"? Who in his right mind doesn't like tiramisu? Who is Sandy Lam? And who the heck is Teresa Teng? (For your information Faye Wong frequently covers her songs. Who is Faye Wong? Awwww...just forget about it.)


Ah, young grasshopper. If I could I would introduce you to the future you, a future you who is sad and depressed because Chu Chu (piggy) or Boh Boh (precious) or whatever other cutesy name you have for your girlfriend won't see you anymore. You feel independent. You feel powerful. You feel you don't have to kiss up to your girlfriend's parents right? It's an illusion.

Children are only as independent as their parents allow them to be. Cut off the credit cards, the cell phone (they pay the bill right?), the Lexus IS300, and all the other perks and your girlfriend is a nerd in Seven jeans. You have to realize that you are fighting the equivalent of The Machines in the Matrix. To be a successful Neo, follow these words.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Off the snow i go

After the weekend that past i make this qualification - that skiing is very easy, it is just the stopping and turning that i had troubles with!

Luckily, skiing was not the main event of the weekend. We involved ourselves in a lot of eating, drinking and hanging out with friends. Now to recap the weekend, I shall go back and start from the beginning - Friday morning.

Firstly, we departed my house a little late because our driving partners (more importantly my friend) got a little drunk and had a hard time getting up. So I took the sterring wheel and started heading to the mountains. The drive was pleasant as we witnessed some of the Yarra Valley, passing a number of wineries where I was wishing we could stop to sample the varieties of reds, rose` and whites they had to offer.

Eventually, after a few winding roads and our ears popping a few times we arrived at Mt Buller. We had to park our car and take the local Taxi to our place of accommodation. Now because they try to save the environment, personal cars are not allowed into the hill - it is actually a great idea but do they rip you off. I mean we paid $28 for a return trip that takes no more than 15 minutes. Even taxi's in sydney do not charge you that much!

But we arrived in a lovely apartment which had fantastic views of the mountains, quite a site. We did some exploring and found that we were about 50m from the centre of the mountain which house a few hire shops, cafes and bars. Not bad and well done to Harry and Jen for getting us this place.

We did not hit the slopes that day but settled in and we ate that night. We also partook in some Uno and I won one of the games. Should have won something else but I reckon there was some collusion going on to stop me - kind of like a ref in our league!

The next day we hot the slopes after hiring soem ski's, poles and boots that were strapped so tight I had a hard time breathing. Now this is where it gets interesting.

See snow boots are weird as they do not allow yu to bend our foot so walking involves your feet staying at right angles to your leg so you walk weirdly. After a while it starts to get annoying. Because we were beginners, we had to walk up to the training area and it tookeffort and time to lug ourselves, the ski's and poles up there.

Eventually we began our lesson, it lasts about 2 hours and I thought we could progress a bit. But the lesson involved us standing in line, side stepping up the hill and going down the slope individually.

Before I even got to the top of the queue I had fallen down and struggled up. It should be noted that there was not alot of snow and it had compacted to be quite hard! When i did get to the stop I started the downward decent and tried to stop as the instructor asked us.

But I could not! So to stop myself going past the instructor and don the hill and super speeds I did what any person would do, I fell! right on my a$$! This went on a few times during the lesson. i also had to purposely fall down a few times as I was heading to other skiiers - I figured I would do less damage that way.

Eventually I thought myself to stop properly by spreading my legs farther out than the instructor had told me.

So the lesson was a kind of waste of time for us. I was also annoyed because Metria had fallen and was struggling to get up. No one was helping her and i was struggling to gain control but eventually I just went and helped her up.

But I managed to move and manoeuvre a bit. So I got the bascis of the basics sorted out!

The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out with friends and sight seeing. It also snowed a bit Saturday night so we had a light blanket of white copvering the place the next day.

And the hills are steep so walking and sightseeing took some effort.

Overall a fun weekend. The highlight was of course seeing snow and learning to ski. The lowlight was seeing these 4/5 year old, 3 foot kids skiing and moving like professionals. little shits!!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Off to the Snow

Today is Thursday and will be the last day of work for me for the week. For Metria and I shall be heading off to the snow with some chums. The weekend should be fun with higlights being the both of us tackling skiing for the first time.



This could be me!!

This should be an interesting experiment as it involves a fair bit of coordination and balance. There could be some surprised but I think it will be very comical. The two of us, well ok I talk for me here, are bound to be falling a lot. Getting up, falling and then getting up.

This is probably a more accurate picture of what will be happening....HELP!!!!

We will beheading to Mt Buller which is about 3 hours from Melbourne. Should be an enjopyable drive and hopefully we get there with no issues. There is a matter of the car needing snow chains but as we are travelling with slightly more experienced people (that is they have been ther already) i am sure my mate can handle this while I sit in the car, with the heater on giving him the "thumbs up" sign!

It will be interesting to experience the ski/snow community there and to be in the snow. Things to also do are to make a snowman and do the snow angels thing. Would love tobe in a snowball fight but my friends are probably too mature for that!

The next entry will contain some pics of the trip

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Steve Irwin - 1962 to 2006



Most of you would have heard the sad news that Steve irwon, known as the Crocodile Hunter, died off the coast of north east Australia yesterday. He was stung by a sting-ray and was likely to have been killed instantly.

He was quite a character and definently promoted the phrase "CRIKEY" to the world.

He was known here but only gained a sense of popularity over the lat few yers. Previously he was not really well known. I remember his first appearance on TV. He came on a late night chat show and he was talking like such an Aussie, I thought he came straight from 1980. Even some of the panelists were looking amused at how he talked.

But one thing you never doubted was his passion for conservation and protecting wildlife. He brought to the forefront the need for the world to be wary that what we do can have a huge impact on the ecosystem.

He was the Wildlife Warrior.

The Crocodile Hunter

And he died doing what he loved best.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Something fishy at West Ham

Hmmmm.....West Ham United sign two 22 year old Argentinian players who were part of their world cup squad - Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano. Both players are very good, both players would have cost a bank and then some to buy from Corinthians. Both players are rated as being worth a total of at least 50m pounds!

The Hammers are now expected to be pretty decent and should challenge for the top part of the league given the midfield and strike force of Reo-Corker, Bobby Zamora, Marlon Harewood, Ben Haim etc etc. I am glad the 'Pool played them last week and won coz they are going to be a handful.

Javier would have been a good buy and I know one fellow blogger was looking forward to his signing with MU. You can read his thoughts here. Bad luck buddy!

Still I have some questions and I think something is up and it involves Chelsea.

Chelsea seem to have a penchant for buying players so the big clubs such as MU, the Arse and the Pool can not buy them. Look at Shaun Wright Phillips who has basically sat on the bench and then look at Michael Essien who is unlikely to play a lot given the midfield players they have.

Both Tevez and Mascherano are signed to a company called Media Sports Inc and a shareholder is one Mr Roman Ambranovich - he who owns Chelsea.

Something is up!

There was no way these two guys would go to Arseanal or ManUSA as they would be strengtened and may challenge Chelsea for the league title or heaven forbid, the Champions League. So they go to a decent club but not a real title challenger.

As part of the Hammers team , the Special Dufus and Roman Billionaire can gauge how they adapt to the style and play of the EPL. If they do not turn out like Juan Sebastian Veron then I think there will be a sale to Chelsea for some huge amounts of cash.

Sounds fishy doesn't it!

* * * * * * * *

On another note, the league is in recess which is a shame as i amgoing to miss my EPL this weekend. Yeah MaU are on top but good that the Cheqski have lost a game (thanks to Mark Viduka). Lets hope that lads can get a decent win in the Derby and we can challenge for the title. Oh well.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Lets just hand them the title

After 2 matches of the EPL, ManUsa are at the top of the table with 2 emphatic wins, a 5-1 demolition of Foolham and 3-0 away win against Choketon. With Chelsea losing to Middlesboredom let us just give the EPL trophy to ManUsa.

Coz that is what their fans are saying. They have come out of the blocks and lets forget the other 36 matches plus champs league, mickey mouse cup and FArCup matches they have to play. Just give them the trophy.

After all they won today without Roo-Roo and Paul Scold (suspended) so they are showing the world their quality as true EPL champs aren't they??? Players like John O'Shea and Darren Fletcher have grown so much that they are scoring goals now.

So after 2 matches, the fans are going nuts....and they should be, their team has done well and as sitting on top of the EPL.

yeah........ :-P

Friday, August 18, 2006

The Kuyt lands at Anfield

It has been reported that Liverpool has signed Dutch striker Dirk Kuyt from Feyenoord for a sum anywhere between 9m and 11m pounds. He adds to the stable of players as LFC carries on with the Rafalution.

Currently he is undergoing a medical and has to agree to personal terms and funnily enough he says he pushed back a number of other offers to play with 'pool - sure that is what they all say!!


While he is not a big name striker like $hev$henko or Ruud Van Nestlinginrealmadrid, we have a player who has scored at least 20 goals in the past 4 Dutch seasons and also helps to create a number of goals for team mates.

This is seriously the type of player Rafa Benitez likes - hard working on the pitch and plays for the team.

After the dissapintment of Fernando Morientes, I am a little reserving to explain he is one of the last pieces we need to claim the premiership. It will take him some time to adapt to the EPL but I hope it is a lot quicker and he starts doing good things sooner.

DK also can play on the right and as a striker so that is good with the rotation policy clubs employ to fit in with the various competitions they play in.

DK also can play on the right and as a striker so that is good with the rotation policy clubs employ to fit in with the various competitions they play in.

Of course now we can look forward to a number of articles considering his name sounds like "KITE" such as my attempt and we have to give him a nick name as well. I cannot help thinking of the movie character "Dirk Diggler" from the movie Boogie Nights. Lets hope DK makes like DD when he meets our opponents in the EPL and well you can guess the rest......

Thursday, August 17, 2006

5 Things that I did NOT like about Malaysia

I thought a good way to cover the holiday was to p the locals there and list the things I did not like. but do not get your sarongs in too many knots. i will have a list of things I did like and I reckon it will longer. Anyway, the thrashing begins.........

1. TRAFFIC - look I am a traffic engineer so my life is spent dealing with traffic, but the way people drive there. GEEZ!!! There is no such thing as courtesy and the aim appears to be cutting in and out but not giving way to any other motorists. I can not drive in KL. I would be stopping and starting and giving way to much. But I may have brought some of those habits back here. I seem to be cutting lanes a lot these days - although i do indicate!

2. ITS GETTING HOT IN HERE - Actually the weather was a lot kinder this time around that last time due to the rains. But when the sun shone and broke through the haze/mist/clouds, MAN did I feel the heat. But thank god there are air conditioners, thank the gods alright!!

3. Did I mention the traffic!

4. The Mexican Restaurant on Heritage Row - we went there for dinner for my mum-in-law's anniversary of her 21st birthday and there were about 4 tables occupied. We ordered food and some tequila's. i had 3 shots and was still sober. After an hour our food did not come. Really bad I say - someone must have been in the kitchen reading the recipe book on how to make Fajita's!

5. PARIS HILTON @ No 2 of your charts - what is wrong with you people. How can this blonde, non-talented BIMBO hoochie have her song at number 2. Be ashamed, be very ashamed, hold your heads for this to occur. Seriously, what is wrong with the listeners in your country. She has no talent in anything except for certain types of activities in certain type of movies. All she does is do nothing!! and you have her at number 2 in your musical charts.

Look that really is the biggest thing that p'ed me off...and the number of times they play it on the radio!!

Shame Malaysia SHAME

Thursday football talk

I have not had time to write about the trip to Malaysia out I wanted to quickly talk about the overnight internationals and the upcoming EPL season.

First thing is that Australia has qualified for the Asia Cup next year which will be held in Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and MALAYSIA. The game was pretty poor as they were made up of a group of young guys who play in our national competition the A-League. From the standard of passing I see why they play here and not in Europe. It was average but come the Asia cup, we should get the regulars in.

Which bring me to hoping they get grouped with Singapore or Malaysia (more so the latter) as it is likely that their games will be played in the land of my birth. Then I can start a football odyssey and go to their matches. It shall be great fun to partake and catch up with all. Now I have to convince Metria to come along. She can visit her friends and I can happily watch football. Steven – you should come as well!

Steven is my beloved cousin, a fellow Liverpudlian supporter (a great bloke then!!) and an Englishmen. His national team destroyed the Greeks via a 4 goal whooping. But beware of Greeks conceding goals. Actually not much should be read into the game as it was a friendly. See they are grouped with Russia who are managed for my nominee for “Australian” of the Year Guus Hiddink. And they better be careful, they may be in for a rude surprise!

Still the team looked a lot better with the new set up. Defoe as a striker was ordinary. But Stevie on the right worked well and Lampard played good in central midfield with Owen Hargraves as the holding player. There was more cohesiveness on the pitch and the first half was really good. Too bad they show this form 6 weeks too late and not when it counted. Oh well….

Lastly, I am looking forward to the start of the EPL season. Finally footy is back and we can look forward to weekends staying up late and watching matches. Sadly there is no fun as I expect Chelsea to win it all followed by LFC, then a gap to a combination of Arsenal, ManUre, Newcastle and Spurs.

But again Chelsea can not be considered a big club, we know the reason why the have won so much yet they have not managed to win a cup apart from the Mickey Mouse one – same as MU. All that money has ruined the game and of Roman leaves I hope the club falls coz they are not real, they are fakes and deserve all the supporters who have joined them after jumping off the MU bandwagon!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A sad ending to the trip

A sad event occurred last night as we were returned home. My nani/grandmother (my mum's mother) passed away. She left this world at about 9pm last night (11pm here in Melbourne) and I found out about it this morning.

It only took a few moments for the memories of her to engulf me and this wave of emotion overcame me. My thoughts are primarly of the first 6/7 years of life, when she used to look after me, my cousins and my brother and sister. The memories from ym childhood are centrered around spending times with my cousins but during the working week I remember my nani used to look after us.

Although sad that her long life has come to an end, I feel happy that she passed away last night while my mum and aunts were around. She was due to return to her nursing home today and to pass away there would have been terrible and unfair.

Last night she was blessed, she was with her some of her family, her daughters who came down from Australia (my mum) and England (my aunt of course). If my mum and Aunt were not there she would have been at the nursing home.

The last 2 weeks she has been surrounded by her daugthers and some of her grandchildren, and although she may not have been able to see us or communicate with us, I hope she could FEEL us! Feel her family were around and that she was loved. I think that she sensed/knew that she would be returning to the nursing home today and would be alone. When she left this world, she left knowing her family was with her. That feels right and kind and correct in a way.

I knew when I left my Aunt's house that this would be the last time I would see her alive. But to have this happen after 24 hours is a shock.

So rest in peace Naniji. You leave the world with 5 daughters, 3 sons, 15 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren and growing!