RIP Amanda Vanstone - Aussie Immigration Minister

I have gone and done a Keropok and taken a long time to update. But been lazy, had my cousin and wife visiting and was distracted by being lazy.

But finally have some time to do so. There are a few things to discuss and I will start off with the football.

FOOTBALL

How can I not gloat about out 2 goal win over Chelsea. What made the weekend evenbetterwas for the Mancs to lose to a last miute Henry header but more on that later.

Liverpool dominated the match and outplayed their opponents all over the pitch and is that last comment I want to focus on. Because too many clowns (that is the media and no brained football fans) have been focussing on the missing Chelsea centrebacks. What about the offensive and creative talent they have at their disposal in Messers Ballack, Lampard, Shevchenko, Robben, Wringt-Phillips, Cole and Drogba which representys over 100m pounds in talent.

Surely between all of then they could have strung some good passes and maybe a few shots at goal.

Yet sadly they did not create much. Drogba was thoroughly taken out of the game by man of the match Carragher, Lampard provided futher evidence why Stevvie G should be playing central midfield for England, Ballack was missing the “o” in his name (thbk about that one and you may get what I mean), Shevshenko shows us that the EPL is too fast for his 30 year odl body and Cashely was just a little slow in picking up his ex-team mate Pennant when he scored his magnificient goal.

All Chelsea did was kick the ball long and hope something would happened.

Yet Moron the Ho wanted symphaty post match but please, stop whing mate and get on with it. I guess swapping Cole for Makele was a great chouice innit!

Overall, Liverpool showed that they are capable off but no use winning if we lose to West Ham tomorrow morning. We need to carry on and play like this for the rest of the season. And Crouch needs a neck muscle transplant.

Then we see MU clutch defeat from the hands of a draw. But that is what you get with all that time wasting.

I am glad the results panned out as they did. This now makes the top 4 more interesting however, I still believe MU will wint he title but the race for 2nd could get very, very interesting.

Lastly, did anyone see Van Persie’s celebration after he scored? I am talking about his jump and fist “pump”. How girly was that (and I apologise to all females because that is saying something here). I mean it was like a ballerina doing a jump and then this semi-mini fist pump. It looks like he does not know how to celebrate and it was embarrassing to watch. Henceforth, he shall be known as “Van Pussie”. I would be embarrassed about that celebration if I was an Arsenal fan.

DAVID BECKONS

Those crazy Americans, first they elect George Bush as a president with less than 50% of the vote, then they start a war in Iraq, then re-elect George W Bush and finally sign David Beckham to come over and play soccer with them.

But they lucked out as a Spice Girl gets thrown into the deal.

Still those clowns are willing to pay him A$125,000 per week (or 50,000 pounds or something like RM 340,000). That is a fairly big pay packet for a right cross.

I wonder if this also includes his appearance in Mission Impossible 4 - Soccer to be bigger than Baseball, Basketball and American Football (and I have to agree about this so called American football, 95% of the game involves the ball being thrown from one person to be caught by another person so "throwing the ball" would have been a much better name).

But power to the man, he conned the Americano's to make him well paid for the next 5 years. Now he can piss off the last remaining 300 million people who have never really listened to his voice.

LUCA$H "NEEDY" NEILL

As an Austrlaian, I was hoping that Lucas Neill would join Liverpool.

Then West Ham United came in to offer him more cash. Now he has joined them and said he gave up on his move to his "dream Club" becuase he did not feel the love from Rafa. So that means that he chose West Ham because:

He did not want to be in a club playing in the Champions League?

He did not want to be part of a team that would challenge for the Premiership title?

He did not want to play with one of the best managers in the game and with some of the best players in the world!

He does not want to play for a team that will be shown on worldwide television regularly, thereby increasing his exposure exponentially!

So it was nothing to do with the massive pay pack over the next 2 and a bit years. It was all about the opportunity to play with a club that is struggling to stay up inthe Premiership this season and is likely to struggle for the duration of his contract.

It was all about the potential of West Ham to the continuing improvement of Liverpool.

It was simple money over medals.

Just un-Australian.

POLITICS

I read in todays papers that John Howard has reshuffled his cabinet and removed Amanda Vanstone from her post. For those in the unknown, AV is a large women who was immigration minister and a tel it lik it is kind of person.

Comedians here used to joke about her a lot because of her forthright, boganish manner and that she would never let people in because she was scared they would eat her food. How I am going to miss Wil Anderson making fun of her.

"the fish I ate was really this big...and in one gulp too"

RIP Amanda, you were great value while you were here.

I think we should look at an eyebrow hall of fame and i have two inductees already, John Howard and Peter Gallagher - he is Sandy Cohan from "The OC". Amazingly massive!

"Ryan, Seth step away with those clippers"

"My gosh, John, they are some big eyebrows you have"

Lastly, it is Australia Day this Friday. So happy Aussie Day to one and all. Green and Gold all day!